Monday 2 April 2012
Other peoples little darlings.
theres one thing most parents secretly hate (at least i hope its not just me) other peoples little darlings. Those screaming badly behaved brats that run amok like feeding time at the zoo at the local park. The child too large to play on the little kids swings, whose dangling off the top bars, and noone seems to own it. Your pretty sure if you went up to it and started yelling at it some 100 stone man would come up to you and scream ''eff off my son you paedo!'' BUT YOU LOOK AROUND AND IT SEEMS TO BE ON ITS OWN! rage ensures...where can you hide its body? I mean it is irritating your cuute little toddler by nearly kicking it, so by proxy its a danger to your child. so it needs wiping out. Que moment where you imagine wrapping it up in a carpet and dragging it kicking and screaming to its mother before throwing it in her face and running off. Oh come on. SURELY ITS NOT JUST ME?!
Monday 12 March 2012
We Carry on
Sometimes, I just want to stand on the scales and cry. To stick my fingers down my throat, and watch what comes out, as I purge my body of everything that I believe is killing me.
Those simple blissful teenage days, when it was all that damn simple. The days when you don't have to squeeze your bladder together when you sneeze. When you hadn't had six medical students gawping as some butcher of a surgeon stitched up your vagina, like something out of a horror movie. I sickly wonder if I could throw up without pissing myself these days. Ah. Dignity, I miss it.
Anyway, As I was saying. I've taken the batteries out of the scales. The panic attacks are better than the purging. The hatred I can't disguise about every morsel of food that gets into my mouth. The hell I feel as I slip, not one, but 2 cookies down my greedy throat. I hate how fat I have become, the sagginess of my breasts. I could rival a 3rd world country with my ankle length breasts.
But life goes on. And I will survive on my £25 a week that I now have to live on. Because thats what we are, Survivors.
Xoxo
Those simple blissful teenage days, when it was all that damn simple. The days when you don't have to squeeze your bladder together when you sneeze. When you hadn't had six medical students gawping as some butcher of a surgeon stitched up your vagina, like something out of a horror movie. I sickly wonder if I could throw up without pissing myself these days. Ah. Dignity, I miss it.
Anyway, As I was saying. I've taken the batteries out of the scales. The panic attacks are better than the purging. The hatred I can't disguise about every morsel of food that gets into my mouth. The hell I feel as I slip, not one, but 2 cookies down my greedy throat. I hate how fat I have become, the sagginess of my breasts. I could rival a 3rd world country with my ankle length breasts.
But life goes on. And I will survive on my £25 a week that I now have to live on. Because thats what we are, Survivors.
Xoxo
Monday 20 February 2012
The Starving Shopoholic
The Starving Shopaholic is born!
Live by these magic shopping rules and you can save your pocket some money, ive decided to write my tips on how to save yourself some dosh. Expect some morning for those gorgeous Jimmy choos youve kept your credit card handy for! il probably add to this. I mean i wrote this whilst doing so many other things. college work, sorting paperwork, looking at debt. -sob-.
1) you really don't need more shoes.
((seriously, I realise, I own 6 almost identical pairs of brogues. 2 identical pairs of sandals [bizarrely in different colours] and 2 pairs of converse I barely wear. In general I have 3 pairs of shoes I wear as staples. 1 heel's , 1 brogues and 1 fluffy boots, the rest just gather dust in my room.))
2) Buying on eBay will NOT save you money.
its amazing how many ''bargains'' I pick up on ebay. some even the wrong size/ stuff id never wear. Don't get me wrong that brown Dior vest top was a bargain for £8.34 however its BROWN. AKA a vile colour that will live in the bottom of the cupboard forever. So not really a bargain. Inpulse buying = Bad.
3)The stuff in sales is the crap no one wants.
Just trust me. No store reduces 70% of classics that can be worn in a different season. Neon legwarmers? Fringed green UGG boots? these things are designed to be sold in the sale. Because face it. they are ugly.
4) invest in classic items during seasonal sales.
The ONLY sale items you should buy are such staples as; good quality jeans in a great fit. (for me that's the French connection sale!)A classic black pencil skirt. (I like warehouse) Shirts suitable for work/smart wear (jack wills is my preference) they are the only items you should buy in sales, as if you pick wisely, you can arrange your whole wardrobe round these staples.
5)Bored? Check Groupon daily.
Groupon is a voucher site which is pretty, well awesome to the starving shopaholic. I've managed to snip up some great price things off their daily offer, such as experiences, fashion, jewellery and haircuts! its especially good if you live in a city, as they have a lot of restaurant vouchers (some up to 70% off)! Ive got some silly deals on their such as a evening racing for 2 with a meal + a drink for £18! so its well worth checking out!
Live by these magic shopping rules and you can save your pocket some money, ive decided to write my tips on how to save yourself some dosh. Expect some morning for those gorgeous Jimmy choos youve kept your credit card handy for! il probably add to this. I mean i wrote this whilst doing so many other things. college work, sorting paperwork, looking at debt. -sob-.
1) you really don't need more shoes.
((seriously, I realise, I own 6 almost identical pairs of brogues. 2 identical pairs of sandals [bizarrely in different colours] and 2 pairs of converse I barely wear. In general I have 3 pairs of shoes I wear as staples. 1 heel's , 1 brogues and 1 fluffy boots, the rest just gather dust in my room.))
2) Buying on eBay will NOT save you money.
its amazing how many ''bargains'' I pick up on ebay. some even the wrong size/ stuff id never wear. Don't get me wrong that brown Dior vest top was a bargain for £8.34 however its BROWN. AKA a vile colour that will live in the bottom of the cupboard forever. So not really a bargain. Inpulse buying = Bad.
3)The stuff in sales is the crap no one wants.
Just trust me. No store reduces 70% of classics that can be worn in a different season. Neon legwarmers? Fringed green UGG boots? these things are designed to be sold in the sale. Because face it. they are ugly.
4) invest in classic items during seasonal sales.
The ONLY sale items you should buy are such staples as; good quality jeans in a great fit. (for me that's the French connection sale!)A classic black pencil skirt. (I like warehouse) Shirts suitable for work/smart wear (jack wills is my preference) they are the only items you should buy in sales, as if you pick wisely, you can arrange your whole wardrobe round these staples.
5)Bored? Check Groupon daily.
Groupon is a voucher site which is pretty, well awesome to the starving shopaholic. I've managed to snip up some great price things off their daily offer, such as experiences, fashion, jewellery and haircuts! its especially good if you live in a city, as they have a lot of restaurant vouchers (some up to 70% off)! Ive got some silly deals on their such as a evening racing for 2 with a meal + a drink for £18! so its well worth checking out!
Tuesday 3 January 2012
Who are we?
Sometimes you look at the world, and you think. I shouldn't be here, This shouldn't be my life. Its 2012. By now I should have left uni, Got a good job ( i always wanted to be a fashion journalist), travelled a bit, done something with my life.
But at the dawn of 21, I'm sitting here in my mother's living room (i never managed to move out)listening to Christina perri at 9.40 am watching a 3 year old play with a stencil, coming nit lotion through my hair. Waiting to hear back from my bully of a boss whether I've been sacked or not. Whist cramming every spare second trying to do open study course work.
Hardly the high flying career full of glamour that I'd hoped for. I never got that boob job, and i never got to explore the world. And sometimes that's OK, but sometimes its not. And I'm sorry, however much we all love our little darlings, we can't help looking back and drinking whilst sighing hard about what could have been. Women like us deserve so much more than what society gives us. Those of us who try to work, try to live, try but end up maxing out all our credit cards on beautiful items we're never have the chance to wear, just because the clothes want us, they remind us of the people we could have been. Those successful people who wouldn't have to put their newest pair of shoes on credit.
My mother is one of these women who has owned 3 pairs of shoes for her whole life. All practical. She doesn't see the importance in the sparkly things. the things that keep people like us happy. the things we can't really afford, but we need because they are beautiful. Those things that make us feel whole again. All my life i was told it doesnt matter what i wear, but for me it does. 5 years of hell being bullied for the name on my clothes have taught me that. To sucseed in life, you have to be the girl ive always wanted to be. The girl in prada and paul smith shirts, walking down the street. The girl Who writes her fashion blog. The girl who everyone wants to be.
So when i loose my job tomorrow. This is my pact of 2012. I will be me. I will be a perfect mother. I will be perfect. because thats who ive been driving myself mental trying to be. And finally i will not be my mother. I will not own 3 pairs of shoes forever.
xxx
But at the dawn of 21, I'm sitting here in my mother's living room (i never managed to move out)listening to Christina perri at 9.40 am watching a 3 year old play with a stencil, coming nit lotion through my hair. Waiting to hear back from my bully of a boss whether I've been sacked or not. Whist cramming every spare second trying to do open study course work.
Hardly the high flying career full of glamour that I'd hoped for. I never got that boob job, and i never got to explore the world. And sometimes that's OK, but sometimes its not. And I'm sorry, however much we all love our little darlings, we can't help looking back and drinking whilst sighing hard about what could have been. Women like us deserve so much more than what society gives us. Those of us who try to work, try to live, try but end up maxing out all our credit cards on beautiful items we're never have the chance to wear, just because the clothes want us, they remind us of the people we could have been. Those successful people who wouldn't have to put their newest pair of shoes on credit.
My mother is one of these women who has owned 3 pairs of shoes for her whole life. All practical. She doesn't see the importance in the sparkly things. the things that keep people like us happy. the things we can't really afford, but we need because they are beautiful. Those things that make us feel whole again. All my life i was told it doesnt matter what i wear, but for me it does. 5 years of hell being bullied for the name on my clothes have taught me that. To sucseed in life, you have to be the girl ive always wanted to be. The girl in prada and paul smith shirts, walking down the street. The girl Who writes her fashion blog. The girl who everyone wants to be.
So when i loose my job tomorrow. This is my pact of 2012. I will be me. I will be a perfect mother. I will be perfect. because thats who ive been driving myself mental trying to be. And finally i will not be my mother. I will not own 3 pairs of shoes forever.
xxx
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